This is my other puppy (he may be huge, but he's actualy younger than Mattie), Kobe. Isn't he ah-dorable???
I decided to post one more cuuuute Mattie picture.
And my other puppy... yes, he IS a puppy...
12/30/06
Just Some Pictures...
12/29/06
My puppy, Mattie, with her cute doggy sweater on!
Mattie again, with her bone
Last year, around CHRISTmas. Notice that the bush has SNOW on it.
Same bush, same time of year... just one LITTLE difference... NO SNOW!!!
The ground on CHRISTmas Eve
YAY!
I got a DeviantART account! yay! for those of you who don't know what DeviantART is, go to www.deviantart.com!!! I'm draw-girl.
12/28/06
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me." The Texan lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The lady from Mississippi continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did you husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
The Texas lady replied, "My husband sent me to charm school."
"Charm school!" the first woman cried. "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"
The Texas lady responded, "So that instead of saying, 'who gives a crap,' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?'"
NEW DRUGS FOR MEN...
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewellery and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
12/25/06
Waddya guys get 4 Christmas? I got:
- Aly and AJ's Acustic Hearts Of Winter
- Some awesome shirts/sweater!
- Maximum Ride: School's Out-- Forever
- 12 bottles of essentail oil
- new (awesome) PJ's
- a picture cutter 4 scrapbooking
- slipper socks
- Sims 2 DS
- rock/shell necklace & bracelet
... and more 2 come when we go 2 my G'pa's house this weekend!
cya!
Courtney
Courtney's Current State of the Union
12/24/06
IN
Sparkles (clothes/makeup)
Green hair streaks
High heels
OUT
Plain clothes/ makeup
Pink hair streaks
Clogs
Just Me
Mood: Happy! (it's CHRISTmas Eve!!!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: The Clique: The pretty Committee Strikes Back, The A-List, One Last Wish: Let Him Live, A Time To Let Go, The Girl Death Left Behind
Currently Listening To: My relatives talk (i'm at my G'ma's house for CHRISTmas)
I Wish: We would open presents soon!
VOTE FOR MR3 COVER!!!
12/23/06
You can vote for Maximum Ride 3's cover! I though the final cover was this:
but now you can vote for either that one or this one:
I voted for <--- that one!!! u can SEE what Max looks like... and kinda Fang (or is it Iggy?). It's the BEST cover yet... better than MR1 and 2's! And i just LUV the sky.. sunset! I can't WAIT for it to come out! But May 22nd... that's 3 month away!!! : (
Hey, did ya see the comments heart on the side of my blog? you have to scroll down a little ways... it's awesome!!!
Go to http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=54022871&blogID=205301809&MyToken=4e2d9377-2379-4782-baab-e75e49caee5d to vote for the cover!!!
Today I have 2 go to my Grandma's for CHRISTmas... Only 2 days till the actual CHRISTmas day!!! WHOO HOO!!!
CoUrTnEy
Ya'll Missin' Me?
12/18/06
hey, i havn't posted in awhile, sorry, our internet's been down...
1. tommorrow's the last day of school 'till janurary! yup, CHRISTmas break!
2. went shopping today, part of school field trip. got some awesome stuff!
3. i made a quiz:
the bold words are my answers... take it!
1. Are you a spender or a saver?
Spender
2. Country, Pop or Rock? (Music)
Pop
3. Water or Milk?
Milk, totally!
4. Cheeseburger or Hamburger?
Cheeseburger
5. What was the last thing you had to eat/drink?
To drink: water. To eat: kiwi
6. Are you listening to music right now? If so, what song?
When I Say Your Name by Jump5
7. Read a book or write a book?
Oh, that’s hard… Read, I guess.
8. Can you put makeup on without a mirror? (Boys: just say no)
Yes
9. Fruit Loops or Cheerios?
Fruit Loops
10. What time do you normally go to bed?
I go to my bedroom at 9:00, turn off my light after 11:00
Only In America...
12/6/06
Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance....
Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry and A diet coke...
Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens To the counters...
Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless
things and junk in boxes in the garage...
Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then Have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...
Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...
Only in America... do we use the word politics to describe the process so well. Poli in Latin meaning many and tics meaning blood sucking creatures...
This is soo funny... and true!
-Coco
I think this is from the One Last Wish books... you know, because of the "Make A Death Wish Foundation" and "One Last Wish Foundation"... and they said "making a child's wish come true". Do you think it's kinda like a parody from the books or just a coincidence? Tell Me!
Just Me
Mood: Annoyed (I'm sick, I have cramps)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Replica: All About Andy, One Last Wish: The Legacy: Making Wishes Come True, One Last Wish: Sixteen and Dying, The Book Theif
Currently Listening To: Jump5's Diamond
Supposed To Be Doing: Resting
I Wish: I could go to my BFFs school play (the tickets cost ten dollars! TEN DOLLARS! I might pay ten bucks for a professional Shakspere play, but not a school preformance that, in my friend's exact words, "It's falling apart, nno one knows their lines!" the play is FRIDAY! TWO DAYS! Anyway, I don't have ten dollars. Well, actualy, I do, from my birthday money, but I'm saving that for when I go to the store! I NEED high-heel boots! Anway, sorry, I just needed to rant about that.)
Here's this aweosme site!
You can see whta's happening in Africa RIGHT NOW...
Once in a while someone'll move it around.
Once my friend's grandpa saw a elephant takeing a bath!
Right now I see: A bird right by the water hole. Drinking water.
http://www.wavelit.com/popup/playerAfricam.asp#
I felt sick this morning, so I stayed home from school...
My stomach hurt really bad and I had a bad cold.
It sucks.
12/4/06
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color." The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!" Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?" The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why is the groom wearing black?"
This joke is INSULTING!!!
Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish. the first blonde says, "I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island." Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island. The second sees what happens and says "I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!" She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off. Finally, the third blonde says "I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island." She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge.
Hubble Deep Field: The Most Important Image Ever Taken
This is amazing... My math teacher found it and showed it to us in class today, and I got on YouTube and found it! I really donn't understand that kid singing, just try to ignore it. That may be hard, though.
Roswell High Quote of the Day
12/1/06
"We need to stand together against the Kyles of the world."
Alex Manes, #1: The Outsider
I Dyed My Hair Pink!
Well, not completly pink. You can barly see it. I only did a small strip of hair pink, and since I have dark hair, you can barly see it. I used pink lemonade kool aid... I tried it last night and it didn't work at all... But then I used TWO pack of kool aid and it worked (slighly)!!! I want to go to the store soon to get more kool aid so I can try dying it again!
Court
PS. NO SCHOOL TODAY... SNOW DAY!!! "...Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow..."
**S*
*N**
**O*
**W**
Kissing Doorknobs
I just finished a book called Kissing Doorknobs. It's really good, you should read it!
Kissing doorknobs is about a girl named Tara Sullivan, who has a obsessive compulsive disorder. First it starts out with her counting all the cracks on her way to school. If anybody disrupted her, she would get really mad because she would lose count and have to start all over.
Then her problems get worse. Every time someone swore, she would have to pray for them, each and every time. She would line her food up on her dinner plate. She would get so worried every time her parents went out, she couldn't sleep. Her friends and parents became worried. Then annoyed. Then angry. Then, one day, she began a new ritual... Every time she used the front door, she would bring her fingers to her lips, kiss them, then put her fingers on the doorknob, thirty-somthing times, every time. She became angry and confused with herself. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. This book lets you feel Tara's pain, throughout the entire book. You should DEFINTALY read it!
CoUrTnEy
Finaly... a ROSWELL dream!!!
11/25/06
I finally had a Roswell dream!!!
This started out as a Replica dream...
I was at my friends house with a couple other friends. Then, I we saw Amy Candler (the main character of the Replica series) walking down the street. Somehow, I had vision like Amy (I could see for miles), and I think one of my friends did, too. Anyway, Amy parked her car (somehow she went from walking to driving) and went inside a gas station. She was in there for a couple minutes, then she came out. She then hopped into another car, different from the one she arrived in, adn drove off. My friends and I went across the street and followed her. I told one of my friends, "Hey, this is like the second book! She takes a bunch of different cars so people don't follow her! Maybe she's going to Dr. Hopkins! No, not Dr. Hopkins... Oh! Dr. Jenkins! Yeha, she must be going to see Dr. Jenkins, like in the book!"
We ran and ran, chasing the car. Then, soon, Ray (from Roswell High) was there, guiding us.
I remember him saying "Close your eyes at this part." when we went by a store that sold scary holloween stuff. One of my friends said "Ooh, I hate this part."
After walking for awhile, we finaly arrived at a place. I don't remember going inside, but when we did, we were Roswell characters. I was Liz, and Maria, Isabel, and (I don't remember them specificaly being there, but I know they were there) Max and Alex. We were in a dark apartment with some teenage girls at computers, making the room an errie blue. We saw Michael and he darted into an attic space sort of closet. Maria went into there (I wonder why...(if you don't know what I'm talking about, read the books)). I knew he was crying or feeling really bad about himself, for some reason. Then, Michael came out, with Maria. The teenage girls got up from the computers, holding somthing and walked towards us. Everyone gathered around, exept for Michael and I. Michael leaned towards me and whispered "You can hold your breathe if you want," which somehow I knew actualy meant "You might want to hold your breathe." Then the teenage girls did somthing, and I knew a poisonous smoke bomb (or whatever they're called- in the movies the bad guy sets one off and everybody faints) was going to go off. I held my breathe.
When we escaped, (I don't rememebr it happening, it just happened) I asked Michael "was that a smoke bomb?" He said yes.
Then I woke up. I guess I'll never kow why Michael (or Amy?) was acting so weird... But, hey, it's just a dream! They don't have to make sense!
Sometime during this dream my mom called up and said "You might want to think about getting up soon!" I can't remember how I answered, but I know I answered, much less than half asleep, and got back to my dream. It was awesome, having that dream, kinda like reading a book or watching a movie!
Court
Joke!!!
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push??"
"No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says,
"Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the right thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push??"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies, "I'm over here, on your swing."
Courtney News
Hey, Y'all! Sorry I haven't been doing any personal posts... So here it goes:
-I quit cheerleading (Practices every Wednesday, stretching with my friend every Monday, cheering every Tuesday and Thursday, starting in December- WAY too much to do!)
- I just finished the Roswell High series for the second time (i didn't read number seven, tough, cuz the Library didn't have it, adn I didn't feel like inter-library loaning it)
- I decided to get all the scents of the main characters in Roswell High (Max, Liz, Isabel, Michael, Alex, Maria, and Adam). In the books, they say there's a scent everytime they all connect, each of them have their own scent, and they smell bueatiful when mixed together in the connection. Maria maximed their scents together with her essential oils, and it smelled like it. She ssaid what oils she used, and i wrote it down, and I'm going to buy them all and mix them together, so I can see what they smell like when they connect. Today I just got Eucalyptus, Michaels smell. Six more to go!
-I started a new blog, a poem blog. Go to it somtime! (http://lotsapoems.blogspot.com)
- My b-day is in THREE days! (Tuesday!) Happy birhtday to me, happy birthday to me... he he!
- I got background music to my blog (in case you haven't heard it yet somehow).
Roswell High Quote of the Day
11/24/06
Michael: Honey, I'm home!
Adam: Okay, honey, I'm in the kitchen!
Michael: Uh, just do you know, guys don't call other guys 'honey'. I was just joking when I said that.
Roswel High Quote of the Day
11/23/06
(Background info: Liz is talking about when Alex said "Oops, I just made a Maria", meaning, when Maria gets nervouse, she starts babbling and talking about stupid stuff. That's what Alex just did.)
"Oh, just so you know, Maria said if she ever heard you use that expression again, she was going to use your head for a planter. Probaly for an hearb garden or somthing."
- Liz Ortecho, #10: The Salvation
Roswell High Quote of the Day
11/21/06
"So far we've been able to pinpoint the exact location of you and Adam."
-Alex Manes, #9: The Dark One
From Chicken Soup for the Girl's Soul
11/19/06
Suffocating
I am suffocating
And I just need to breathe
I'm smothered under pressure
I must be relieved.
Nothing I do is right,
Nothing they say is fair
I cry and scream and throw a fit,
But no one seems to care.
Nobody will listen,
To what I have to say.
My life is not important,
Yet I'm living every day.
I can't do what I want
I cannot stay out late
Here I sit and write this poem
To release my pain and hate.
I'm confused and I'm alone
I'm lost in my mind.
No one will search beyond my looks
To see what they might find.
So many thoughts confuse me,
Feeling I can't perceive,
In this time of adolesence
And I just need to leave.
None of it makes sense
None of this feels real.
And noone understands
The emotions that I feel.
I'm still suffocating
And I still need to breathe
I'm smothered under feelings
Let me be relieved.
Marion Distante
Roswell High Quote of the Day
"Okay, well, both of you should know that Roswell has its own special version of teh bunny hop called the alien bop. It's about to start, so be afraid, be very afraid."
Michael Guerin, #8: The Rebel
From Chiken Soup for the Teenage Soul III
11/18/06
Minutes Like Hours
You walk into the store
and stride down the aisle.
You pick me up and
try to look casual while
you carry me down
to the checkout line.
Pull out your wallet,
you soon will be mine.
Your friends are observing
every move you make.
The clerk asks for ID-
you show him a fake.
You quickly walk down
to the front of the store.
Your friends are waiting for you
as you step out the door.
You hop in the car
and drive away from the shop.
Then you turn off the ignition,
and pop off the top.
You take a few drinks
and pass me around.
That’s when you decide
to take a drive around town.
You turn on your car
and put your foot on the clutch.
I’m sober, you think,
I didn’t have very much.
You pull onto the road
with me at your side,
Taking occasional sips
as you enjoy the ride.
Then the brakes on the car
in front of you squeal.
You try hard to stop,
but lose control of the wheel.
You skid off the road,
and you know you have crashed.
The dashboard is shattered,
the windshield is smashed.
Minutes like hours,
You’re in treacherous pain,
that washes your senses,
envelopes your brain.
The screams all around you
are faint to your ears,
as life flashes before you,
your hopes and your fears.
Minutes like hours,
you please and you pray,
I’ll never touch it again,
just let me live one more day.
Your mind starts to go dark,
it falls apart piece by piece.
And then you slip into blackness,
the pain has finally ceased.
Before you entered that store,
you should have thought twice,
for I am the substance
that cost you your life.
Vidhya Chandrasekaran
This is one of my favorite poems, it teaches you a really good lesson about drinking/drinking & driving. I have another one like that, I'll post it soon.
Roswell High Quote of the Day
"Even if my molocules were spread out from here to whatever galaxy my home planet is in, that wouldn't stop me. All my molocules would be like little homeing pigeons.They'd all zoom to you, and then I'd re-form."
-Max Evans, #6: The Stowaway
Roswell High Quote of the Day
11/17/06
"The thing is, while most guys would love to talk to a soon-to-be game show hostess, I have this phobia. I don't really like to discuss it, but, hey, we're friends, so here's the deal-- when I'm in the presence of someone whith even the slightest look of a game show hostess, I panic. I start trying to buy vowels. I start demanding valubal prizes.I put everything in the form of a question. It's not pretty."
Alex Manes, #6: The Stowaway
There's another funny quote by Alex on the same page, having to do with the same thing. I'll post it now, kinda like a double quote post.
"A Vet! I have an even bigger phobia about vets. I can't go near her. Barking would be involved. There would be much hulimation for all three of us."
Alex Manes, #6: The Stowaway
TV show scene of the day
11/16/06
From King of Queens
Doug: In our wedding vows, it says 'To Death Do We Part', which I took as, if there's a death, we all part.
Carrie: So you don't want to take care of my father if I die?
Doug: Not me, it's in the vows.
Roswell High Quote of the Day
"Maybe we are the binary stars we saw in the desert that one night."
-Max Evans, #10: The Salvation
TV show quote (well, actualy, scene)
11/15/06
From King of Queens. Doug is upstairs and Arthur is in the basement. Carrie is on the first floor trying to work, but can't.
Aurthur: Douglas? Douglas? Douglas!
Doug: What?
A: Come down here!
D: I'm busy!
A: You're dizzy?
D: I'm BUSY! With a "B"!
A: You're dizzy?
D: (Brief silence) Yes, I'm dizzy.
A: WEll, come down anyway. Hold onto the rail!
D: What is it?!
A: I can't get the naked channel!
D: We don't get the nacked channel!
A: Yes, we do. We were watching it last night!
D: (Brief silence) That was Nightline.
(Carrie throws her hands down onto the table, picks up her books, and goes out to the car to do her work. Doug and Arthur are still very audible)
A: Just tell me, WHAT NUMBER IS THE NACKED CHANNEL?!
D: WE DON'T GET THE NACKED CHANNEL!!!!!
A: Why Not?!
D: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Carrie sighs and rolls up the windows in the car)
In case you were wondering, the episode this is from is ASULTED NUTS, in the 3rd season.
Roswell High Quote of the Day
"You can't die now, Michael! You still owe me two bucks!"
- Alex Manes, #3 The Seeker
Jobs that look really easy but are probaly a lot harder
- Delivery person (Fed-Ex, UPS)
- Waitress
- Mail person
- Cashier
- Writer
- Cartoonist
- Bus Driver
- Dog Walker
- Babysitter
Wow, there's more jobs than I though! I'll add more as I think of 'em!
Cheerleading!!!
I'M A CHEERLEADER!!!
Cheerleading just started today!!! At our school, you don't have to try out-- not very many people want to be cheerleaders. It's weird, cuz, in books people always want to be cheerleaders, and the cheerleaders are always bratty. Not at our school! Most of the cheerleaders are really nice and most people want to do Basketball instead.
In books and movies, they make cheerleading look kinda difficult, but it's actualy really hard. You have to know how to do splits, backbends, back walkovers, right and left cartwheels, rolls, and some other stuff I can't remember. AND you have to be able to do elevators (two peoplke on the side, one person in the middle, one person in the back, the rest all around in a circle. the side people and the back person lift up the middle person while the rest stand around with their hands up ready to catch anybody who falls). But it's still fun!!!
Court
GS Camp
11/9/06
I'm happy! Girl Scout Fall Camp is tomorrow! I've never been there b4, but i've heard it's really fun! I'm going w/ my BFF!
Just Me
Mood: HAPPY!!! (I just watched The Office, and Jim's coming back to Scranton!!!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: So Little Time: How To Train A Boy
Currently Listening To: Sk8r Boi
Supposed To Be Doing: Nu'in (nothing)
I Wish: Maximum Ride 3 would COME OUT ALREADY!!!
HAPPY DAY!!!
11/8/06
I'M GETTING THE NEW VERSION OF BLOGGER!!! HAPPY DAY!!! Rite now i'm waiting for the change to be completed. it mite take awhile, though. but STILL!!! HAPPY DAY!!!
Teletmarker Replent
Telemarketer Repellant
1. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
2. Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
3. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
4. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."
5. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
6. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
7. Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.
8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
10. When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.
Joke of the Day
A golfer and his buddies were playing a big round of golf for $200.
At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200.
As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by.
The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and waited for the funeral procession to pass.
After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt, and completed it, thus winning the game and the money.
Afterwards, one of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen.
I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly losing your concentration, to pay your respects."
"Well," said the golfer, "we were married for 25 years."
Facts on Farts
I found this really strange web site...
It has really weird (and amusing) questions and answers, such as "Where Do Farts Come From?" or "What Is The Best Postition For Farting?"
Go to it!! ------> http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
Joke of the Day
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
VOTING DAY!!!
I'm sooooooo happy!!! Finaly, no more annoying commercials asking for your vote. "He created Jobs" "Don't vote for him if..." they're sooooooooo annoying!!! But, anyway, I'm HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY!!!
Joke of the Day
In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it nearly always turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them and after hearing about a priest nearby who worked withdelinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk to them.
The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.
The priest sat the boy down across from the huge, impressive desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing.
Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"
Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Where is God?"
The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief and quickly said, "We are in big trouble!"
The older boy asked, "What do you mean, big trouble?"
His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did it!"
Joke of the Day
11/5/06
The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth.
In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.
Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.
After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, "Hey! We need to get back!"
"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."
A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra.
About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.
"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."
Just Me
10/26/06
Mood: Exited, happy,(my bday party is 2morrow) but sad (one of my BFFs can't come 2 my party)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Nobody Else Has To Know, Hoot, and Roswell High #4
Currently Listening To: Jump5's Hawwian Roller Coaster Ride
Supposed To Be Doing: Nothing, really... Exept going to bed in 10 minuetes. but that's in 10 whole minutes!
I Wish: One of my BFFs could come to my party!!!
Happy Birthday To Me!
Tomorrow's my Bday party! I'm sooo exited!!! My actual Bday isn't till nov., but tommorow's the only day i could have it...
I
AM
SOOOO
EXITED!!!
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it.. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Grandma's Revenge...
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."
Joke of the Day
I need water....(October26, 2006)
A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out.
The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The man replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."
The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"
"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, and they'll give you all the water you want."
The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight. Three hours later he returned.
The man at the card table said, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"
"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."
Things I Have Learned...
-The white stuff in Milkweed does NOT taste like Milk!!!
-When a recipe calls for "sifted confectioners sugar", it means POWDERED SUGAR. Try to put normal sugar in the recipe, and it'll ruin it.
Joke of the Day
A mother's advice...
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure.
As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband.
The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "I said for you to marry a RICH Doctor! A RICH Doctor!"
The Errors I've Found In Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
10/23/06
Bold= The mistake part
___________________________________
Pg. 389
fortunately, we could all see pretty well in the dark. especially Iggy.
problem with this: Iggy is blind, so he could not see especially well in the dark. James Patterson must have meant EXCEPT Iggy.
___________________________________
Pg. 369
Fang was] unconscious but still breathing.
Problem with this: There was a left bracket ( ] ) where it shouldn't be. I looked and didn't see a right bracket.
___________________________________
Pg. 364
Well, I would, I thought bitterly, If I wasn't so busy running for my life all the time.
Problem with this: She was thinking it, so it was italicized. Parts of it wasn't italicized because she was emphasizing it, but the "I thought bitterly" part was italicized, and it shouldn't have been, 'cause she wasn't thinking of it.
Joke Of The Day
There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.
All of a sudden an old man's face appeared outside the passenger window, and he tapped lightly on the window! The man on the passenger side screamed out, "Eeeeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!)
This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well, open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"
So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???"
The old man softly replied, "Do you have any tobacco?"
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!"
"Well, offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies.
So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells, "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror.
Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down, and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "What do you think about that?"
The driver says, "I don't know. How could that be? I was going pretty fast."
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock, and there is the old man again.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!" the passenger yells.
"Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.
He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.
The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!"
They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking!
"OH MY GOSH! HE'S BACK!"
He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.
The old man replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
Joke of the Day
10/22/06
Cross-eyed dog...
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes.
"Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down"
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.
"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.
Maximum Ride songs
Hope Has Wings- Brie Larson
Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson
Fly- Hilary Duff
That's all I have so far, add a comment for anymore songs that go with Maximum Ride!!!
:)
Max Fan
Just Me
10/17/06
Mood: HAPPY! (two books just came in for me at the library, and I think tehy're Replica books! I REALLY REALLY hope they're Dreamcrusher and Virtual Amy!!!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Roswell #8, The Rebel, Lizzie McGuire Mystery: The Case of the Missing She-Geek, This Isn't About The Money, and Maximum Ride: the Angel Experiment (some of the books have been on this list for a long time because i've been takin' me sweet ol' time readin them)
Currently Listening To: Jump5's What I Say Your Name
Supposed To Be Doing: Practicing Piano &/or doing homework
POST COMMENTS!!!
C'MON ppls, POST COMMENTS! No one has been posting comments sice FOREVER!!!
CoUrTnEy
HOTEL
10/16/06
This Fri- Sat my Girl Scout troop is going to a hotel! One of the girl's mom does this scrapbooking thing for ladies at the hotel, ans we're going to help! And we get all-night accsess to the pool! YAY!
Japanese Anime
10/15/06
I just learned how to draw Japanese Anime today! I spent most of today drawing them! Here's the best one (besides the FANG pic i posted earlier):
Straight As The Arrow Flies (cont.)
Chapter 11
I woke up in shock, I’d had a dream about the battle last night, it was terrible. I tried to calm myself down, telling myself that everything was going to work out. I had to stay strong, because I no longer had Li to fall back on. Now that he was gone, it seemed like all the responsibility in the world was resting on my shoulders, threatening to drag me down into the black chasm that was death. I woke the pack and we struck out again, hoping that we might find Li soon. As we ran, my mind wondered, I was thinking where Li might be right now and what was happening to him. I had a feeling he was wondering where the heck we were. We needed to pick up the pace, we couldn’t afford to lose anymore time.“C’mon, let’s pick up the pace!” I yelled. I didn’t know how much time we had, but I had a feeling that it was getting less and less every minute.
Chapter 12
The wild wolf pack struck up a howl, Li joined in. The wolves had accepted him as one of their pack, seeing as he had succeeded in bringing down their leader. He now had become their new leader, leading them wherever he desired. He knew that staying with these wolves would make hunting and finding the pack a lot easier. So he decided to stay with them, at least until he found the pack. This had only one problem; if he stayed in his wolf state too long, he could forget about his pack, and become a wild wolf forever.
Chapter 13
We all rested around the fire I built that night. I could control the flames, it was my weird gift, and each of us had one: Li couldn’t feel fatigue, Matt could stand freezing cold temperatures, and Albina could lie perfectly still for hours, seemingly without breathing, Star could see really far, Luca could smell dinner almost a mile away, the air around Rika was always warm while the air around Ciri was usually cold, Kiri could coax things into coming back to life, Ashlyn could speak to birds, and I could tame fire. I flicked my hand boredly, focusing on the fire, watching it mimic my hand’s movements. I then focused on the smoke, twirling it in spirals, making shapes and designs in it that hovered in the air and then disappeared. Ashlyn was conversing with a sparrow; Kiri was restoring dead flowers to their original, colorful state. None of us talked, we sat in silence for some time, and no one spoke but the sparrow and Ashlyn.I was changing the fire’s shape, now a dog, now a cat, all burning with a beautiful orange-blue glow. We couldn’t do much about Li, besides; he always seemed to have a way of escaping just about anything. I had learned this the hard way when we were at a hotel and I had locked us in, sleeping with the key under me in my sleeping bag, Li had insisted that someone be on watch while I had insisted that we were perfectly safe with the high quality lock I had put on the door. I woke up that morning, Li was gone, and I opened the door to find him leaning casually against the opposite wall with a smug grin on his face, tossing the lock up and down in his hand.We laid low for a long time, hunting and running for our lives. Life returned to the way it had been before, minus Li, and this went on for about a month. And things pretty much took a straight down drop from there.
Chapter 14
Li had been with the pack for almost a month now, hunting, fighting, and keeping them in order. The pack had learned to fear him, for of every fight, he was the victor. Li had begun to lose focus on the plan he had made after escaping, began to forget about the pack. All that was beginning to matter was staying alive, staying with the wolves, staying in charge. He had grown, changed in appearance, changed in attitude, he was becoming a wolf. The wolf pack was trotting along, sniffing out the fresh trail of the deer that would be their dinner. They rounded a corner; there was the deer, along with nine wolves eagerly tearing at the deer, filling their empty stomachs. Li stepped forward, growling and bristling, eager for a fight. The obvious leader of this other pack looked up, and then began to growl. Li leaped in, taking on the leader, it seemed to be a female, but fought just as fiercely as any fully- grown wolf would.Li found himself having a hard time defeating the female. This came as a surprise, considering he couldn’t remember ever having to work this hard to come away unscathed. They broke apart and lunged again, claws ripping the air. He noticed this pack of wolves had a similar fighting style to his. He darted in and out, striking and dodging, using speed as well as strength. Li was running out of tricks, constantly being predicted by the opponent. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he found himself on his back, panting heavily, the female wolf’s paw on his throat, the lack of nutrition and the energy used in the fight making him dizzy. The blurred image of the female wolf slowly came into focus their gazes met and something in the female’s eyes changed, Li saw them glow with joy. The paw on his neck became a hand, and the face above his was a human’s. “Li, oh my god, it’s you!” She thrust her arms around his neck and everything came rushing back to him. He remembered that he was Li, one of two leaders of a pack of ten shape shifters. He remembered why they were on the run, and from whom, he also remembered that he could change his shape, which he did now, allowing Arrow to hug him. He stroked her hair and whispered reassurances.
Chapter 15
I was so happy, I had found Li, and everyone was together again. Li stroked my hair and despite my embarrassment, tears rolled down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry Li,” my voice was muffled by tears, “I gave up on you,” my voice was almost a whisper by now, “I promise this will never happen again,”“You know that’s a promise you can’t keep, no matter how hard you try,” he whispered softly.“I know,” my voice was broken by sobs, “I just want the pack to stay together, because that’s how it should be.”I didn’t hear anything from him, and for a while I just rested, calming myself, the tears dried on my cheeks. “Okay,” I said, trying to regain control, “I’m done,”Li put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me away, I spun around, hoping that the pack hadn’t seen any of that. The pack was still fighting, oblivious to what was going on about ten feet away. Li called off the wild wolves and shooed them away. He walked back to where I was checking the pack for injuries and was surrounded by the pack immediately.“Li!” squealed Kiri, she ran up and hugged him as the rest of the pack slapped him high-fives. We trotted along through the woods after having eaten the deer, well fueled and happy. So when trees began exploding around us, it really really ticked me off.
TO BE CONTINUED
The Language of Women
10/14/06
FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine".
GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
You know you're living in 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, send this to your friends ... you know you want to!
Just Me
10/12/06
Mood: annoyed (i still have to study for a Social Studies Quiz, and my brother's annoying little friend is coming over!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Roswell #8, The Rebel, Lizzie McGuire Mystery: The Case of the Missing She-Geek, and Replica #2: Pursuing Amy
Currently Listening To: nothing
Supposed To Be Doing: studying for quiz
Men's Rules For Woman
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your own oil! Please.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
Funny Stuff
More Stupid Quotes
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."- Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."- Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President
Actual Letters To Landlords
"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
"I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my nob off."
"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
"When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.
Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."
Exerpts from Studant's Essays
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
Kids Look At Things Differently
POLICE
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the ages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
The Traveler
I left Montreal heading toward Quebec city, when I decided to stop at a comfort station. The first stall was occupied, so I went into the second one. I was no sooner seated than I heard a voice from the next stall:
"Hi, how are you doing?"
Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, and I really don't know quite what possessed me, but anyway, I answered, a little embarrassed:
"Not bad."
And the stranger said: "And, what are you up to?"
Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird! So I said:
"Well, just like you I'm driving east."
Then, I heard the stranger, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you."
http://unlimitedgamer.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154
Got any good quotes that you've heard and want to share?Here's a few I found interesting...
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."- Bill Peterson, football coach
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."- Alan Minter, Boxer
"I invented the internet".- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
http://www.funnylists.net/jokes.php?action=read&joke=975
10/11/06
Stupid Quotes
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - Mariah Carey, pop singer
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to preserve disorder." - Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic Party convention
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Former French President Charles de Gaulle
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. - Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before - Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. - Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck." - Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off. - Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. - Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. - A congressional candidate in Texas
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. - General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam
Just Me
10/10/06
Mood: sad, frusterated (it's already 9:26 PM!!! ARGH!!!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Maximum Ride: School's Out-- Forever (for the 3rd time!), So Little Time: Instant Boyfriend, Kissing Doorknobs, and Lizzie McGuire Mystery: The Case Of The Missing She-Geek
Currently Listening To: A weird noise the sink is making
Supposed To Be Doing: going to bed
I Wish: Replica: Dreamcrusher would come in for me at the library!
Stupid Dreams I've Had This Year
The Iggy Dream
Right before I went to sleep, I read Maximum Ride: School's Out--Forever. Then I had this dream...
Max, Nudge, Gazzy, Fang, and Angel were sitting on a couch. Fang was in the middle, and there was a box with a red button on it next to him. There was a space between the box and Nudge the other side of Fang and Gazzy. Now, i COULD NOT figure out where Iggy was supposed to go! If i put him next to the box, then Fang could tell him when to push the big red button. But if i didn't... well, i don't know! But i was concentrating on it sooo hard! Then I woke up.
(stupid dream, huh? all my friends say so)
<----Sorry, it's really sloppy
The Replica Dream
I was reading a Replica book before i fell asleep. Then I had this dream...
I was at my school library. i went over the the shelf that had the Replica books... but they weren't there! i beagn searching all the shelves, but i just could not find them! i was beginning to panick... then i woke up.
(also a stupid dream, too. not as stupid as the Iggy Dream, though!)
Where My Mind Wanders In P.E. Class
10/9/06
(Playing Kickball In The Gym)
Okay... i'll get far right out field... hey, those kids are carring coloful boxes. Probaly for the Student Council teacher... hey, they just went back into the door next to the one they came in from! I wonder why they did that... huh, that's a pointy "W" on the wall! Hmm, i wonder... ha! the ball just went into the Girl's Locker Room! Hee- hee... AUGH! The ball almost hit me... hey! stop yelling at me! i can't help it that i hate this game! Oh, yes! Three outs, time to switch... Oh, great. why the heck do they choose to be polite NOW, making the people who don't want to kick kick? What if we don't WANT to kick? ever think of THAT? oh, well. Hmm, i wonder why they call them "innings". why not... well, i don't know, but why INNINGS??? oh, hey, class is almost over! C'mon, C'mon, blow the wistle! Say PE is over... C'mon, C'monnn... YES!!!
Trampoline Pro
10/8/06
|
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=19961
Things I Have Learned This Pass Week
- If you need tape (at school), and your teacher's coffee is right by the tape, MOVE THE COFFEE! otherwise, you'll most likly spill the coffee.
- DO NOT attempt to hit your friend with a little cup of ketchup- the ketchup WILL spill!
- Razor + Dry Legs = BAD IDEA
FULL MOON!!!
Hey, there's a full moon out! it looks soo awesome! it's huge! one side of the sky is kinda light, and the other's kminda dark. i tried to take a picture, but we have an old digi-cam, so it didn't turn out good. and cuz of the trees, they were in the way.
<--- The white thing is the moon behind the trees.
Just Me
10/5/06
Mood: mediocre- not happy, not sad, not mad.
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Replica: The Beginning (#14) , Roswell High; The Salvation (#10, last one *tears come to eyes*)
Currently Listening To: Nothing
Supposed To Be Doing: My Homework
I Wish: IT WAS THE WEEKEND ALREADY!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
