Mood: Exited, happy,(my bday party is 2morrow) but sad (one of my BFFs can't come 2 my party)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Nobody Else Has To Know, Hoot, and Roswell High #4
Currently Listening To: Jump5's Hawwian Roller Coaster Ride
Supposed To Be Doing: Nothing, really... Exept going to bed in 10 minuetes. but that's in 10 whole minutes!
I Wish: One of my BFFs could come to my party!!!
Just Me
10/26/06
Happy Birthday To Me!
Tomorrow's my Bday party! I'm sooo exited!!! My actual Bday isn't till nov., but tommorow's the only day i could have it...
I
AM
SOOOO
EXITED!!!
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it.. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Grandma's Revenge...
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."
Joke of the Day
I need water....(October26, 2006)
A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out.
The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The man replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."
The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"
"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, and they'll give you all the water you want."
The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight. Three hours later he returned.
The man at the card table said, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"
"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."
Things I Have Learned...
-The white stuff in Milkweed does NOT taste like Milk!!!
-When a recipe calls for "sifted confectioners sugar", it means POWDERED SUGAR. Try to put normal sugar in the recipe, and it'll ruin it.
Joke of the Day
A mother's advice...
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure.
As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband.
The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "I said for you to marry a RICH Doctor! A RICH Doctor!"
The Errors I've Found In Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
10/23/06
Bold= The mistake part
___________________________________
Pg. 389
fortunately, we could all see pretty well in the dark. especially Iggy.
problem with this: Iggy is blind, so he could not see especially well in the dark. James Patterson must have meant EXCEPT Iggy.
___________________________________
Pg. 369
Fang was] unconscious but still breathing.
Problem with this: There was a left bracket ( ] ) where it shouldn't be. I looked and didn't see a right bracket.
___________________________________
Pg. 364
Well, I would, I thought bitterly, If I wasn't so busy running for my life all the time.
Problem with this: She was thinking it, so it was italicized. Parts of it wasn't italicized because she was emphasizing it, but the "I thought bitterly" part was italicized, and it shouldn't have been, 'cause she wasn't thinking of it.
Joke Of The Day
There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.
All of a sudden an old man's face appeared outside the passenger window, and he tapped lightly on the window! The man on the passenger side screamed out, "Eeeeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!)
This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well, open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"
So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???"
The old man softly replied, "Do you have any tobacco?"
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!"
"Well, offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies.
So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells, "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror.
Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down, and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "What do you think about that?"
The driver says, "I don't know. How could that be? I was going pretty fast."
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock, and there is the old man again.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!" the passenger yells.
"Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.
He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.
The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!"
They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking!
"OH MY GOSH! HE'S BACK!"
He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.
The old man replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
Joke of the Day
10/22/06
Cross-eyed dog...
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes.
"Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down"
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.
"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.
Maximum Ride songs
Hope Has Wings- Brie Larson
Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson
Fly- Hilary Duff
That's all I have so far, add a comment for anymore songs that go with Maximum Ride!!!
:)
Max Fan
Just Me
10/17/06
Mood: HAPPY! (two books just came in for me at the library, and I think tehy're Replica books! I REALLY REALLY hope they're Dreamcrusher and Virtual Amy!!!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Roswell #8, The Rebel, Lizzie McGuire Mystery: The Case of the Missing She-Geek, This Isn't About The Money, and Maximum Ride: the Angel Experiment (some of the books have been on this list for a long time because i've been takin' me sweet ol' time readin them)
Currently Listening To: Jump5's What I Say Your Name
Supposed To Be Doing: Practicing Piano &/or doing homework
POST COMMENTS!!!
C'MON ppls, POST COMMENTS! No one has been posting comments sice FOREVER!!!
CoUrTnEy
HOTEL
10/16/06
This Fri- Sat my Girl Scout troop is going to a hotel! One of the girl's mom does this scrapbooking thing for ladies at the hotel, ans we're going to help! And we get all-night accsess to the pool! YAY!
Japanese Anime
10/15/06
I just learned how to draw Japanese Anime today! I spent most of today drawing them! Here's the best one (besides the FANG pic i posted earlier):
Straight As The Arrow Flies (cont.)
Chapter 11
I woke up in shock, I’d had a dream about the battle last night, it was terrible. I tried to calm myself down, telling myself that everything was going to work out. I had to stay strong, because I no longer had Li to fall back on. Now that he was gone, it seemed like all the responsibility in the world was resting on my shoulders, threatening to drag me down into the black chasm that was death. I woke the pack and we struck out again, hoping that we might find Li soon. As we ran, my mind wondered, I was thinking where Li might be right now and what was happening to him. I had a feeling he was wondering where the heck we were. We needed to pick up the pace, we couldn’t afford to lose anymore time.“C’mon, let’s pick up the pace!” I yelled. I didn’t know how much time we had, but I had a feeling that it was getting less and less every minute.
Chapter 12
The wild wolf pack struck up a howl, Li joined in. The wolves had accepted him as one of their pack, seeing as he had succeeded in bringing down their leader. He now had become their new leader, leading them wherever he desired. He knew that staying with these wolves would make hunting and finding the pack a lot easier. So he decided to stay with them, at least until he found the pack. This had only one problem; if he stayed in his wolf state too long, he could forget about his pack, and become a wild wolf forever.
Chapter 13
We all rested around the fire I built that night. I could control the flames, it was my weird gift, and each of us had one: Li couldn’t feel fatigue, Matt could stand freezing cold temperatures, and Albina could lie perfectly still for hours, seemingly without breathing, Star could see really far, Luca could smell dinner almost a mile away, the air around Rika was always warm while the air around Ciri was usually cold, Kiri could coax things into coming back to life, Ashlyn could speak to birds, and I could tame fire. I flicked my hand boredly, focusing on the fire, watching it mimic my hand’s movements. I then focused on the smoke, twirling it in spirals, making shapes and designs in it that hovered in the air and then disappeared. Ashlyn was conversing with a sparrow; Kiri was restoring dead flowers to their original, colorful state. None of us talked, we sat in silence for some time, and no one spoke but the sparrow and Ashlyn.I was changing the fire’s shape, now a dog, now a cat, all burning with a beautiful orange-blue glow. We couldn’t do much about Li, besides; he always seemed to have a way of escaping just about anything. I had learned this the hard way when we were at a hotel and I had locked us in, sleeping with the key under me in my sleeping bag, Li had insisted that someone be on watch while I had insisted that we were perfectly safe with the high quality lock I had put on the door. I woke up that morning, Li was gone, and I opened the door to find him leaning casually against the opposite wall with a smug grin on his face, tossing the lock up and down in his hand.We laid low for a long time, hunting and running for our lives. Life returned to the way it had been before, minus Li, and this went on for about a month. And things pretty much took a straight down drop from there.
Chapter 14
Li had been with the pack for almost a month now, hunting, fighting, and keeping them in order. The pack had learned to fear him, for of every fight, he was the victor. Li had begun to lose focus on the plan he had made after escaping, began to forget about the pack. All that was beginning to matter was staying alive, staying with the wolves, staying in charge. He had grown, changed in appearance, changed in attitude, he was becoming a wolf. The wolf pack was trotting along, sniffing out the fresh trail of the deer that would be their dinner. They rounded a corner; there was the deer, along with nine wolves eagerly tearing at the deer, filling their empty stomachs. Li stepped forward, growling and bristling, eager for a fight. The obvious leader of this other pack looked up, and then began to growl. Li leaped in, taking on the leader, it seemed to be a female, but fought just as fiercely as any fully- grown wolf would.Li found himself having a hard time defeating the female. This came as a surprise, considering he couldn’t remember ever having to work this hard to come away unscathed. They broke apart and lunged again, claws ripping the air. He noticed this pack of wolves had a similar fighting style to his. He darted in and out, striking and dodging, using speed as well as strength. Li was running out of tricks, constantly being predicted by the opponent. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he found himself on his back, panting heavily, the female wolf’s paw on his throat, the lack of nutrition and the energy used in the fight making him dizzy. The blurred image of the female wolf slowly came into focus their gazes met and something in the female’s eyes changed, Li saw them glow with joy. The paw on his neck became a hand, and the face above his was a human’s. “Li, oh my god, it’s you!” She thrust her arms around his neck and everything came rushing back to him. He remembered that he was Li, one of two leaders of a pack of ten shape shifters. He remembered why they were on the run, and from whom, he also remembered that he could change his shape, which he did now, allowing Arrow to hug him. He stroked her hair and whispered reassurances.
Chapter 15
I was so happy, I had found Li, and everyone was together again. Li stroked my hair and despite my embarrassment, tears rolled down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry Li,” my voice was muffled by tears, “I gave up on you,” my voice was almost a whisper by now, “I promise this will never happen again,”“You know that’s a promise you can’t keep, no matter how hard you try,” he whispered softly.“I know,” my voice was broken by sobs, “I just want the pack to stay together, because that’s how it should be.”I didn’t hear anything from him, and for a while I just rested, calming myself, the tears dried on my cheeks. “Okay,” I said, trying to regain control, “I’m done,”Li put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me away, I spun around, hoping that the pack hadn’t seen any of that. The pack was still fighting, oblivious to what was going on about ten feet away. Li called off the wild wolves and shooed them away. He walked back to where I was checking the pack for injuries and was surrounded by the pack immediately.“Li!” squealed Kiri, she ran up and hugged him as the rest of the pack slapped him high-fives. We trotted along through the woods after having eaten the deer, well fueled and happy. So when trees began exploding around us, it really really ticked me off.
TO BE CONTINUED
The Language of Women
10/14/06
FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine".
GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
You know you're living in 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, send this to your friends ... you know you want to!
Just Me
10/12/06
Mood: annoyed (i still have to study for a Social Studies Quiz, and my brother's annoying little friend is coming over!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Roswell #8, The Rebel, Lizzie McGuire Mystery: The Case of the Missing She-Geek, and Replica #2: Pursuing Amy
Currently Listening To: nothing
Supposed To Be Doing: studying for quiz
Men's Rules For Woman
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your own oil! Please.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
Funny Stuff
More Stupid Quotes
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."- Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."- Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President
Actual Letters To Landlords
"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
"I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my nob off."
"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
"When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.
Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."
Exerpts from Studant's Essays
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
Kids Look At Things Differently
POLICE
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the ages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
The Traveler
I left Montreal heading toward Quebec city, when I decided to stop at a comfort station. The first stall was occupied, so I went into the second one. I was no sooner seated than I heard a voice from the next stall:
"Hi, how are you doing?"
Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, and I really don't know quite what possessed me, but anyway, I answered, a little embarrassed:
"Not bad."
And the stranger said: "And, what are you up to?"
Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird! So I said:
"Well, just like you I'm driving east."
Then, I heard the stranger, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you."
http://unlimitedgamer.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154
Got any good quotes that you've heard and want to share?Here's a few I found interesting...
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."- Bill Peterson, football coach
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."- Alan Minter, Boxer
"I invented the internet".- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
http://www.funnylists.net/jokes.php?action=read&joke=975
10/11/06
Stupid Quotes
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - Mariah Carey, pop singer
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to preserve disorder." - Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic Party convention
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Former French President Charles de Gaulle
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. - Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before - Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. - Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck." - Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off. - Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. - Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. - A congressional candidate in Texas
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. - General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam
Just Me
10/10/06
Mood: sad, frusterated (it's already 9:26 PM!!! ARGH!!!)
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Maximum Ride: School's Out-- Forever (for the 3rd time!), So Little Time: Instant Boyfriend, Kissing Doorknobs, and Lizzie McGuire Mystery: The Case Of The Missing She-Geek
Currently Listening To: A weird noise the sink is making
Supposed To Be Doing: going to bed
I Wish: Replica: Dreamcrusher would come in for me at the library!
Stupid Dreams I've Had This Year
The Iggy Dream
Right before I went to sleep, I read Maximum Ride: School's Out--Forever. Then I had this dream...
Max, Nudge, Gazzy, Fang, and Angel were sitting on a couch. Fang was in the middle, and there was a box with a red button on it next to him. There was a space between the box and Nudge the other side of Fang and Gazzy. Now, i COULD NOT figure out where Iggy was supposed to go! If i put him next to the box, then Fang could tell him when to push the big red button. But if i didn't... well, i don't know! But i was concentrating on it sooo hard! Then I woke up.
(stupid dream, huh? all my friends say so)
<----Sorry, it's really sloppy
The Replica Dream
I was reading a Replica book before i fell asleep. Then I had this dream...
I was at my school library. i went over the the shelf that had the Replica books... but they weren't there! i beagn searching all the shelves, but i just could not find them! i was beginning to panick... then i woke up.
(also a stupid dream, too. not as stupid as the Iggy Dream, though!)
Where My Mind Wanders In P.E. Class
10/9/06
(Playing Kickball In The Gym)
Okay... i'll get far right out field... hey, those kids are carring coloful boxes. Probaly for the Student Council teacher... hey, they just went back into the door next to the one they came in from! I wonder why they did that... huh, that's a pointy "W" on the wall! Hmm, i wonder... ha! the ball just went into the Girl's Locker Room! Hee- hee... AUGH! The ball almost hit me... hey! stop yelling at me! i can't help it that i hate this game! Oh, yes! Three outs, time to switch... Oh, great. why the heck do they choose to be polite NOW, making the people who don't want to kick kick? What if we don't WANT to kick? ever think of THAT? oh, well. Hmm, i wonder why they call them "innings". why not... well, i don't know, but why INNINGS??? oh, hey, class is almost over! C'mon, C'mon, blow the wistle! Say PE is over... C'mon, C'monnn... YES!!!
Trampoline Pro
10/8/06
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http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=19961
Things I Have Learned This Pass Week
- If you need tape (at school), and your teacher's coffee is right by the tape, MOVE THE COFFEE! otherwise, you'll most likly spill the coffee.
- DO NOT attempt to hit your friend with a little cup of ketchup- the ketchup WILL spill!
- Razor + Dry Legs = BAD IDEA
FULL MOON!!!
Hey, there's a full moon out! it looks soo awesome! it's huge! one side of the sky is kinda light, and the other's kminda dark. i tried to take a picture, but we have an old digi-cam, so it didn't turn out good. and cuz of the trees, they were in the way.
<--- The white thing is the moon behind the trees.
Just Me
10/5/06
Mood: mediocre- not happy, not sad, not mad.
Book(s) I'm In The Middle Of Reading: Replica: The Beginning (#14) , Roswell High; The Salvation (#10, last one *tears come to eyes*)
Currently Listening To: Nothing
Supposed To Be Doing: My Homework
I Wish: IT WAS THE WEEKEND ALREADY!!!
Straight As The Arrow Flies
10/3/06
by Glitch Gal
(http://gbaglitch.blogspot.com/)
Chapter 1
The wind made an odd sound as it moved quickly through the woods, and we moved just as fast, winding our way through the woods like shadows. Li was moving alongside me, he was impossible to see, I could only be sure he was there by the sound of his breathing. The others were following closely. Suddenly I heard Albina cry out; Li left my side and returned almost instantly, “They know we’re here.” He said darkly.“I know,” I whispered, “They’ve been hot on our trail for days.” And they had, every now and then they’d get too close, and a gunshot would sound, making us all break into a run, the ten of us were running out of places to hide.“Arrow,” A small voice came from behind me, Kiri’s voice. “Will they catch us?” “Not if I can help it.” I said defiantly.“What if they do?” She sounded scared. “They won’t.” I finished, scooping the little five- year old up. We had been running for days, everyone was tired, Li had carried Kiri after she had almost collapsed. We needed to find food, and fast. Suddenly, Li stopped, he held perfectly still, and listened. Then, without warning, he changed into a wolf.
Chapter 2
(Yeah, we can transform into wolves, so what? Anyway, more on that later.)He began to slink forward; I transformed and waited for him to give the signal. He moved like a shadow, weaving his way through the bushes, his movements as fluid as a snake’s. He stopped abruptly, flicked his tail, the signal, and pounced. I leaped, and the rest of the pack followed, we crashed through the bushes and saw the deer. Li was already tearing at its throat, leaving deep gashes wherever he struck. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of white fur as Albina rushed the deer. She leaped towards the deer, sailing through the air, and found her mark on the deer’s neck. She clamped on next to Li, and they both hung on tight. I could tell that the deer was weakening. Its attempts to shake off the two determined wolves were less. Finally, I leapt in to deliver the final blow. It fell dead, and we feasted. (Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: If we’re kids, why did we eat raw meat? Well, the wolf part of us is able to digest anything that real wolves were able to, so we can.) I looked up from the feast, Li was gone.
Chapter 3
I got up and looked around, I couldn’t see him anywhere.Suddenly, Li crashed through the bushes. “They’re here!” He howled.“Move!” I barked, adrenaline rushing through my veins. We shot out of there like bullets, fueled by panic. Gunshots exploded the trees around us, making us run even faster.Oh if only we knew how to fly. I thought bitterly. Li veered to the left, the rest of the pack followed. Then, we all transformed back, and dove into an icy stream.
Chapter 4
We swam for a while to throw them off our scent; they had freaking dogs, which made it a heck of a lot harder for us.I made a fire so we could dry our clothes. “Is everyone okay?” I asked.I got mixed replies from everyone. Everyone seemed okay. The ten of us, me, Li, Ciri, Kiri, Albina, Ashlyn, Star, Luca, Matt, and Rika, sat around the fire, trying to dry our clothes as much as we could. Li stood up, “We should really get some rest,” He announced, “I’ll take first watch.”I yawned and stretched, “That sounds great,” I said, “We really need it.”So, Li took first watch. I was awakened in the night by Li howling. We were under attack.
Chapter 5
I leaped up, already transformed. Li was fighting two dogs at once.“Everyone up!” I yelled, rushing the nearest officer. You see, to add to our nightmare, there were heavily armed psychos after us, trying to catch us, study us, and put us in zoos. The rest of the pack was up within seconds, throwing themselves at the MRS (Mutant Retrieval Squad) Officers. One of the dogs lay in a pool of blood; the other was snapping and snarling at Li. Luca, Matt, and Rika were crouched back-to-back, growling and bristling as several officers surrounded them. From behind, in a flash of silvery fur, Ashlyn was on top of one of three officers who had been knocked off their feet in the frenzied attack.I had my own problems to deal with; five dogs had ganged up on me and were slowly closing in. Kiri and Ciri were behind me, both were snarling and bristling. Li was suddenly beside me, snarling viciously. He was about my age, but he was also about 2 inches taller. At the sight of him, bristling and snarling ferociously, one dog whimpered but they still kept advancing on us, though a little more cautiously. Then, almost too fast to see, Li made his move, one dog lay dead, while another was bleeding and looked stunned as if he didn’t know what had just happened, then he too dropped dead. Officers came to the dog’s aid, armed and ready. Li attacked again, leaving deep gashes in the side of one dog’s leg.One officer fired, aiming at Li, a net shot out, knocking Li off his feet and closing around him as he sailed across the clearing. He hit a tree almost twenty feet away with a thunk.Enraged, I leaped at the officer who had fired and managed to take a chunk out of his arm, and then the dogs were upon me. I lashed out, striking one across the muzzle, leaving large gashes. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Li being dragged towards a truck well hidden in the bushes. He was perfectly still, seemingly unconscious. They opened the net to transfer him to a cage, big mistake. He leaped out of the cage just as the door was closing. Three seconds later, five officers were on the ground before they knew what had hit them.Li hit the ground running; he was headed straight towards me, ready to fight. A shot rang out; Li stumbled, his shoulder red with blood, and fell.
Chapter 6
I attacked in a frenzied rage, furious beyond comprehension, and with good reason to be, they had shot down one of the pack, turning me into a demon, striking out everywhere. One, two, three officers went down. The rest were already piling into the car. They sped out of the clearing, dirt flying from under the tires. They were gone, I rushed over to Li, transforming back as I ran. He was bleeding still, but it looked like the bullet had only clipped his shoulder, but at such close range it had packed a lot of power. Li had been knocked to the ground by the force of the shot and was barely conscious, he was no longer transformed, pain short-circuits our powers. “Is he okay?” asked Kiri.“He’s fine,” I said, relieved.“Looks like it hurt,” said Star, trotting up to where we were sitting.“Not really,” said Li.“He lives!” yelled Star, Li scowled.“Let’s go,” Li said, getting up, “Those bozos could be anywhere.” He dusted himself off, but cringed and stopped, examining his shoulder. “Those idiots,” he mumbled under his breath.
Chapter 7
We were all weak from the fight, we knew it, and so did the MRS. We needed to move fast, I transformed, the rest of the pack transformed also, we then began to trot along the river bed at a fast pace, but still slow enough to conserve energy. After a while, I saw Li’s shape flickering, I ordered everyone to stop. Li transformed, he tried to transform again but half way he flickered back. We all knew what was wrong; his shoulder had caused his powers to short-circuit. We knew we had to make camp, I regretted it, but Li was hurt and needed rest.As always, Li offered to take first watch.“No,” I said sternly. He crossed his arms and stared me down. This went on for a while, finally, he sighed, and shot me a glance that said “I despise you,” I shot him a sly smile, he rolled his eyes and lay down next to the fire, farther away than everyone else.It must have been about twelve when I heard it, a rustling in the bushes, about ten yards from where I was standing. I saw Li stir, then something crashed through the bushes, Li snapped awake and transformed, snarling at the creature. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before; it had large, dripping fangs, cruelly curved, razor sharp claws, and its eyes were full of hate. It looked like some cross between a saber tooth tiger, and a freakishly large wolf that had been trained and kept by the devil himself, it was almost twice as large as Matt.Suddenly, armed officers and more of the creatures were coming out of every bush as the pack bunched together, up and snarling.Li lunged at the creature nearest to him, and leaped back, his teeth had made a satisfying mark in the creature’s neck. But the creature made its attack just as fast, lashing out at Li, but Li was too quick for it, he dodged out of the way but landed hard. His hurt leg buckled under him and he fell. The creature fell upon him, slashing and biting. I leaped and hit the creature full force in the ribs; I think one of them cracked.“Take them alive!” I heard one officer yell, smashing a gun out of another’s hands.We managed to take out almost half of the MRS within twenty minutes.“Take any you can, hurry, we can’t afford to lose anyone else!” an officer yelled.“Leave the others, take the injured one!” yelled another. Li, I thought. I fought desperately, trying to get out from under the creature. I heard yelling, I caught a glimpse of the action, Li was snarling, snapping at anyone who came near. None of the officers could lay a hand on him. I say something fly through the air, seconds later that something hit Li in the neck and he fell. My vision was blocked by the creatures paw. I lashed out at its throat, the most vulnerable spot, which had the desired effect: its eyes glazed over and it fell. Yeah, right on top of me. I tried to squirm out from under it. I needed to get to Li, he was part of the pack, and it was my duty to keep the pack from harm. I heard the doors of the van shut, and as soon as they did, I knew I had failed my duty, I had failed the pack, had failed Li.
Chapter 8
I finally got out from under the creature with the help of the pack. “You okay?” asked Matt.“Fine,” I said quickly, “How about you guys?”“We’re all okay,” said Rika in her soft, whispering voice. She paused for a minute then her voice broke, “Li’s gone,” she said loudly, then, can you believe it, she started sobbing. I held her close; the rest of the pack that hadn’t transformed back yet tilted their heads back, and sang a mournful howl to the sky.“Come on guys,” I said, the howl ended abruptly, “If we’re ever going to find Li, we need meat if we’re gonna’ follow that van, got it?” The pack nodded grimly to show they understood. This was going to be hard on everyone, we had never ran this far before, but we had to stick together, so that’s what we were gonna’ do.
Chapter 9
I found a rock, and stood on it, you know, for dramatic effect, “All right,” I said in a loud, masterful voice, “Let’s go!” I felt like a military officer, standing up here and watching them follow my orders. We ran for quite a while, we needed to find meat; we had to have energy for the long trip ahead of us. I was willing to go to any lengths to save Li, as I would do for any other member of the pack. I was going to save Li, or die trying.
Chapter 10
Li woke up in a cage, bouncing along in a van. He looked over to where the latch was secured by a lock. He carefully examined it; it was a combination lock, not too high quality. He put his ear to it, spun it to the right, a click, then to the left, another click, he spun it once again to the right, the third click, he pulled on it, and then he was out. Li crept over to the door of the trunk, there was a window, and it was slightly open, in fact, it was open just enough for a wolf to squeeze through.Li hit the ground, hard, thankfully, the van hadn’t been moving too fast. But now there was the problem of getting back to the rest of the pack. He had no idea which direction to go, so he set off into the woods. It was night by the time he stopped to rest; he had been trotting all day and was immensely tired. He lay down and howled brokenly. He rested his head on his paws and closed his eyes. Suddenly, his ears perked up, from off in the distance came a chorus of answering howls. Li listened intently. It wasn’t his pack, there were too many, it was definitely a pack of wolves though. He waited as the howls grew closer and closer as the night wore on.
Chapter 11
I woke up in shock, I’d had a dream about the battle last night, it was terrible. I tried to calm myself down, telling myself that everything was going to work out. I had to stay strong, because I no longer had Li to fall back on. Now that he was gone, it seemed like all the responsibility in the world was resting on my shoulders, threatening to drag me down into the black chasm that was death. I woke the pack and we struck out again, hoping that we might find Li soon. As we ran, my mind wondered, I was thinking where Li might be right now and what was happening to him. I had a feeling he was wondering where the heck we were. We needed to pick up the pace, we couldn’t afford to lose anymore time.“C’mon, let’s pick up the pace!” I yelled. I didn’t know how much time we had, but I had a feeling that it was getting less and less every minute.
Chapter 12
The wild wolf pack struck up a howl, Li joined in. The wolves had accepted him as one of their pack, seeing as he had succeeded in bringing down their leader. He now had become their new leader, leading them wherever he desired. He knew that staying with these wolves would make hunting and finding the pack a lot easier. So he decided to stay with them, at least until he found the pack. This had only one problem; if he stayed in his wolf state too long, he could forget about his pack, and become a wild wolf forever.
Chapter 13
We all rested around the fire I built that night. I could control the flames, it was my weird gift, and each of us had one: Li couldn’t feel fatigue, Matt could stand freezing cold temperatures, and Albina could lie perfectly still for hours, seemingly without breathing, Star could see really far, Luca could smell dinner almost a mile away, the air around Rika was always warm while the air around Ciri was usually cold, Kiri could coax things into coming back to life, Ashlyn could speak to birds, and I could tame fire. I flicked my hand boredly, focusing on the fire, watching it mimic my hand’s movements. I then focused on the smoke, twirling it in spirals, making shapes and designs in it that hovered in the air and then disappeared. Ashlyn was conversing with a sparrow; Kiri was restoring dead flowers to their original, colorful state. None of us talked, we sat in silence for some time, and no one spoke but the sparrow and Ashlyn.I was changing the fire’s shape, now a dog, now a cat, all burning with a beautiful orange-blue glow. We couldn’t do much about Li, besides; he always seemed to have a way of escaping just about anything. I had learned this the hard way when we were at a hotel and I had locked us in, sleeping with the key under me in my sleeping bag, Li had insisted that someone be on watch while I had insisted that we were perfectly safe with the high quality lock I had put on the door. I woke up that morning, Li was gone, and I opened the door to find him leaning casually against the opposite wall with a smug grin on his face, tossing the lock up and down in his hand.We laid low for a long time, hunting and running for our lives. Life returned to the way it had been before, minus Li, and this went on for about a month. And things pretty much took a straight down drop from there.
Chapter 14
Li had been with the pack for almost a month now, hunting, fighting, and keeping them in order. The pack had learned to fear him, for of every fight, he was the victor. Li had begun to lose focus on the plan he had made after escaping, began to forget about the pack. All that was beginning to matter was staying alive, staying with the wolves, staying in charge. He had grown, changed in appearance, changed in attitude, he was becoming a wolf. The wolf pack was trotting along, sniffing out the fresh trail of the deer that would be their dinner. They rounded a corner; there was the deer, along with nine wolves eagerly tearing at the deer, filling their empty stomachs. Li stepped forward, growling and bristling, eager for a fight. The obvious leader of this other pack looked up, and then began to growl. Li leaped in, taking on the leader, it seemed to be a female, but fought just as fiercely as any fully- grown wolf would.Li found himself having a hard time defeating the female. This came as a surprise, considering he couldn’t remember ever having to work this hard to come away unscathed. They broke apart and lunged again, claws ripping the air. He noticed this pack of wolves had a similar fighting style to his. He darted in and out, striking and dodging, using speed as well as strength. Li was running out of tricks, constantly being predicted by the opponent. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he found himself on his back, panting heavily, the female wolf’s paw on his throat, the lack of nutrition and the energy used in the fight making him dizzy. The blurred image of the female wolf slowly came into focus their gazes met and something in the female’s eyes changed, Li saw them glow with joy. The paw on his neck became a hand, and the face above his was a human’s. “Li, oh my god, it’s you!” She thrust her arms around his neck and everything came rushing back to him. He remembered that he was Li, one of two leaders of a pack of ten shape shifters. He remembered why they were on the run, and from whom, he also remembered that he could change his shape, which he did now, allowing Arrow to hug him. He stroked her hair and whispered reassurances.
Chapter 15
I was so happy, I had found Li, and everyone was together again. Li stroked my hair and despite my embarrassment, tears rolled down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry Li,” my voice was muffled by tears, “I gave up on you,” my voice was almost a whisper by now, “I promise this will never happen again,”“You know that’s a promise you can’t keep, no matter how hard you try,” he whispered softly.“I know,” my voice was broken by sobs, “I just want the pack to stay together, because that’s how it should be.”I didn’t hear anything from him, and for a while I just rested, calming myself, the tears dried on my cheeks. “Okay,” I said, trying to regain control, “I’m done,”Li put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me away, I spun around, hoping that the pack hadn’t seen any of that. The pack was still fighting, oblivious to what was going on about ten feet away. Li called off the wild wolves and shooed them away. He walked back to where I was checking the pack for injuries and was surrounded by the pack immediately.“Li!” squealed Kiri, she ran up and hugged him as the rest of the pack slapped him high-fives. We trotted along through the woods after having eaten the deer, well fueled and happy. So when trees began exploding around us, it really really ticked me off.
The full review of REpLICa by Marilyn Kaye
Replica is a sci-fi book series by Marilyn Kaye, containing 24 books.
The story centers on Amy Candler, a girl who discovers she is not only a clone, but is also gifted with genetically altered eminence. Overnight, she can run faster than anybody and see farther than anybody. This extends to other abilities; for instance, she can do complicated twists on the uneven bars in gymnastics.
She wants to locate the other clones, but she must be careful, for the evil masterminds who created her are out to get her.
While on a trip to New York, Amy is captured along with seven other of her clone sisters. One of them is killed in the experiments performed on the clones, but later in the series the defective 13th clone (Aly) is mistaken for the dead one and must do her best to survive the Organizations next round of tests they throw at the 12 remaining clones.
Since the Organizations plan is to create a mastermind race or superior clones, they had created 12 male copies 4 years before the Amy Project, called the Andy Project. Amy #7, the Amy clone the series follows, meets Andy #6 on a camping trip. She bumps into him throughout the rest of the series.
I got this from Wikipeida. I wrote part of it. There's more, but it ruins the series. if you want to read the whole thing, go to www.wikipedia.com and search REPLICA (BOOK SERIES). I would advise against that if you havn't finished the series.
http://72.29.89.18/Flashes/2004/Look%20whos%20looking%20now%20swf.swf" width="320" height="240">
www.knoxskorner.com
Last Nite the power went out :( . Then it woke me up early in the morning when it came back on :( :( :( .
Tech Support
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly alltrue!!!!*
==============================...Tech support:* What kind of computer do you have?*Female customer:* A white one...
===============***Customer:* Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.*Tech support:* Have you tried pushing the Button?*Customer:* Yes, sure, it's really stuck.*Tech support:* That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.*Customer:* No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on mydesk... sorry....
===============*Tech support:* Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of thescreen.*Customer:* Your left or my left?
===============*Tech support:* Good day. How may I help you?*Male customer:* Hello... I can't print.*Tech support:* Would you click on "start" for me and...*Customer:* Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not BillGates.
===============*Customer:* Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time Itry, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placedit in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============*Customer:* I have problems printing in red...*Tech support:* Do you have a color printer?*Customer:* Aaaah....................thank you.
===============*Tech support:* What's on your monitor now, ma'am?*Customer:* A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============*Customer:* My keyboard is not working anymore.*Tech support:* Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?*Customer:* No. I can't get behind the computer.*Tech support:* Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back*Customer:* OK*Tech support:* Did the keyboard come with you?*Customer:* Yes*Tech support:* That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there anotherkeyboard?*Customer:* Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============*Tech support:* Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capitalletter V as in Victor, the number 7.*Customer:* Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============*Customer:* I can't get on the Internet.*Tech support:* Are you sure you used the right password?*Customer:* Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.*Tech support:* Can you tell me what the password was?*Customer:* Five stars.
===============*Tech support:* What anti-virus program do you use?*Customer:* Netscape.*Tech support:* That's not an anti-virus program.*Customer:* Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============*Customer:* I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on mycomputer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============*Tech support:* How may I help you?*Customer:* I'm writing my first e-mail.*Tech support:* OK, and what seems to be the problem?*Customer:* Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get thecircle around it?
===============A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.*Tech support:* Are you running it under windows?*Customer:* "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. Theman sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer isworking fine."
===============And last but not least...***Tech support:* "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at thesame time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now typethe letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"*Customer:* I don't have a P.*Tech support:* On your keyboard, Bob.*Customer:* What do you mean?*Tech support:* "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.*Customer:* I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Just Some Stuff To Do In Wal*Mart...
I would strongly advise NOT to do the following. Some of them could get you into some serious trouble. but have fun reading them!!!
Just Some Stuff To Do In Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some toliet paper!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
9. While walking around the store, sing an annoying song in a loud voice.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this stuff, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. Toilet paper as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
41. Two words: "Marco Polo."
42. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
43. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
44. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
45. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
56. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
57. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
omigosh!
omigosh! i'm soooooooooooooooo exited!!!
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=54022871&blogID=173243620&MyToken=8151f01c-7213-4cbd-8d8e-c3ee4f8ef823
I think the Maximum Ride part is going to be GREEN! u know, cos the other 2 were BLUE and RED...
Bas Rutten in TV-Show: King of Queens Part 02
| Former UFC and Pancrase champion Bas Rutten gets a role in King of Queens as a bouncer. See part 01 Don't Touch!!! | |
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