Tech Support

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly alltrue!!!!*

==============================...Tech support:* What kind of computer do you have?*Female customer:* A white one...

===============***Customer:* Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.*Tech support:* Have you tried pushing the Button?*Customer:* Yes, sure, it's really stuck.*Tech support:* That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.*Customer:* No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on mydesk... sorry....

===============*Tech support:* Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of thescreen.*Customer:* Your left or my left?

===============*Tech support:* Good day. How may I help you?*Male customer:* Hello... I can't print.*Tech support:* Would you click on "start" for me and...*Customer:* Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not BillGates.

===============*Customer:* Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time Itry, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placedit in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

===============*Customer:* I have problems printing in red...*Tech support:* Do you have a color printer?*Customer:* Aaaah....................thank you.

===============*Tech support:* What's on your monitor now, ma'am?*Customer:* A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

===============*Customer:* My keyboard is not working anymore.*Tech support:* Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?*Customer:* No. I can't get behind the computer.*Tech support:* Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back*Customer:* OK*Tech support:* Did the keyboard come with you?*Customer:* Yes*Tech support:* That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there anotherkeyboard?*Customer:* Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

===============*Tech support:* Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capitalletter V as in Victor, the number 7.*Customer:* Is that 7 in capital letters?

===============*Customer:* I can't get on the Internet.*Tech support:* Are you sure you used the right password?*Customer:* Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.*Tech support:* Can you tell me what the password was?*Customer:* Five stars.

===============*Tech support:* What anti-virus program do you use?*Customer:* Netscape.*Tech support:* That's not an anti-virus program.*Customer:* Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

===============*Customer:* I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on mycomputer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============*Tech support:* How may I help you?*Customer:* I'm writing my first e-mail.*Tech support:* OK, and what seems to be the problem?*Customer:* Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get thecircle around it?

===============A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.*Tech support:* Are you running it under windows?*Customer:* "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. Theman sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer isworking fine."

===============And last but not least...***Tech support:* "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at thesame time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now typethe letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"*Customer:* I don't have a P.*Tech support:* On your keyboard, Bob.*Customer:* What do you mean?*Tech support:* "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.*Customer:* I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!